Thursday, September 20, 2012

Eager to Please

All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection.  ~William Faulkner

I have struggled with perfectionism for a long time. My goal of pleasing people has been a source of frustration and disappointment. When I became a mom 6 years ago, I quickly realized that no mom is perfect, and I would only drive myself crazy trying to be. You may think that realization cured my perfectionism for good, but unfortunately that is not the case. Now that I'm a teacher, I have a new outlet in which to struggle with my perfectionistic tendencies. At the end of the day, there are a million things to look back at and wonder if I did them well enough. 

There are plenty of questions running through my mind... "Did I teach that lesson to the best of my ability?" or "Did I handle that problem correctly?" or "Did I show that student God's grace?"

As I struggle with these thoughts and feelings... I realize the only answer is this. I am not perfect. I never will be. But God is not looking for perfection, but he is looking at my heart. God hasn't asked me to be the perfect teacher, to handle every lesson exactly right, to handle every conference with a parent perfectly, or be everything for everybody. God has asked me to point them in the direction of the one who can be their Perfection and their Everything.... and that is Him... not me.... thank goodness! 

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