Eager to Please

All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection.  ~William Faulkner

I have struggled with perfectionism for a long time. My goal of pleasing people has been a source of frustration and disappointment. When I became a mom 6 years ago, I quickly realized that no mom is perfect, and I would only drive myself crazy trying to be. You may think that realization cured my perfectionism for good, but unfortunately that is not the case. Now that I'm a teacher, I have a new outlet in which to struggle with my perfectionistic tendencies. At the end of the day, there are a million things to look back at and wonder if I did them well enough. 

There are plenty of questions running through my mind... "Did I teach that lesson to the best of my ability?" or "Did I handle that problem correctly?" or "Did I show that student God's grace?"

As I struggle with these thoughts and feelings... I realize the only answer is this. I am not perfect. I never will be. But God is not looking for perfection, but he is looking at my heart. God hasn't asked me to be the perfect teacher, to handle every lesson exactly right, to handle every conference with a parent perfectly, or be everything for everybody. God has asked me to point them in the direction of the one who can be their Perfection and their Everything.... and that is Him... not me.... thank goodness! 

We need a farm!

 Over Labor Day weekend we went to the local creamery for ice cream and to see the cows.... here's some pics from our adventure!

 Yummy Strawberry and Peach Milkshakes made the kids happy... but the cows made them even happier!

 "Cows go MOOOOO" says Hope!

 Our kids would have stayed and watched the cows all day long... and now for the past week they've been building barns with Legos and pretending to be farmers.

A couple weeks ago we went to "Goats on the Roof:" in Helen where you can visit with the goats and feed them out of an ice cream cone... and then feed them the cone too! The kids LOVED the goats...

And the goats loved the kids! Now we just need a farm where we can have some cows, goats, and chickens.

Fall is on the horizon!

I must admit that fall is my favorite time of year.... and it always has been. As much as I love the sun and flip-flops... I love jeans, hoodies, apple cider, pumpkins, and salted caramel frappuccinos even more! :) This year I seem to be longing for fall even more. This summer has been one filled with changes, difficulties, and sickness. In early July I came down with what felt like the flu... except it got worse instead of better. After much procrastination I headed to the doctor, and they told me I had Lyme disease from a tick bite I got in late May. They started me on powerful antibiotics to kill the Lyme Disease, but the medicine had some nasty side effects that made me feel terrible as well. Finally after feeling sick for over a month, I began to feel better, besides a few residual side effects.

It wasn't long after I started feeling better, that the first week of school came rapidly approaching. I was so excited, nervous, and ready to begin my first teaching job and yet I never would have expected how draining this first month would be. I love the school I'm working at, I love my 5th grade students, and I love teaching BUT this month was exhausting. I love my kids, I love homeschooling Hosea, and I love volunteering on Wednesday nights at church BUT this month was overwhelming. I think I've fallen asleep on the couch at 8:30 P.M more frequently than I did when I was pregnant.

 But sure enough... just as the calendar began to flip into September... I felt a change. When I walk into my classroom it feels like home... instead of like a hotel. My students no longer feel like students, but instead like my own children. Homeschooling Hosea is beginning to feel more natural instead of foreign. And I realize that even on the worst days right now... it feels better than my best days did before. I may not be the perfect mom, the perfect teacher, or the perfect small group leader but I'm called and therefore it feels right. I may forget part of a lesson plan, struggle with patience when Hosea's perfectionism rears it's head, or feel inadequate in several other ways but I'm loved by the Father and therefore that is enough.

So as fall approaches... I pray that you find a sense of contentment with where God has you... but not of complacency. As the leaves change color, as the weather becomes cooler, and as the world gives way to a new season... enjoy it and bask in God's graciousness to us.

Three kids, a box, and a little imagination!

As I begin to prepare for the beginning of my first school year as an official teacher... we've had several boxes with books end up in our house. As the boxes come in, I've tried to go through them, organize the contents, and place everything on my bookshelf in our sun room. This has left us with some empty boxes...

Instead of boxes... my kids believe we've gained a spaceship, a car, an igloo, a camper, a tent and whatever else their imaginations create. My children couldn't be happier and have enjoyed countless hours playing in these boxes. One day last week, we took it a step farther and turned the boxes into artwork, and my kids were entertained for an hour while I cleaned the kitchen and made lunch!

Boxes= cheap entertainment= artwork= ability to get my kitchen clean

Summer Reading

A glimpse into what I've been reading this summer... which definitely ranks high on one of my favorite past times.

I have been intrigued by Michael J. Fox for a long time, and think his positive attitude while living with Parkinson's Disease can be an encouragement to many. I found this book on clearance in the Grocery and it was well worth the read! 

This book is the sequel to Lost and Found by Sheehan, and it was just as good as the the prequel. These books have great dialogue, character development, and are awesome for animal lovers! :) 

I downloaded this for free on to my Kindle and I'm so glad I did. This book will challenge your faith, your thoughts about what you think you NEED, and make you incredibly grateful!

This was another free download on Amazon, and it was super cute! It made me realize that life with three children who are close together in age is always going to be an adventure and that adventure is when real learning occurs. This was an easy, but fun read!

This book was extremely interesting as it gives a lot of background information on one of my favorite authors. Brennan Manning's Ragamuffin Gospel was a life changing read for me, and this autobiography gave even more meaning to that book. 

If you have any suggestions on books that you love, that you think I might like, leave them in the comments! I'm always looking for a new and interesting read! 

Mr. Popper's Penguins!

Since Levi was 9 months old, he's been fascinated by penguins. His fascination began with a trip to the Tennessee Aquarium, where he picked out a penguin stuffed animal to take home and become his own. He still has this stuffed animal, despite an angry woman's attempt to steal it in Target (don't even get me started), and his love for penguins has continued to blossom. His penguin collection has grown ten fold, his knowledge of penguins is quite astounding, and he has already declared that someday he will move to Antarctica and live with the penguins.

I believe that in Levi's most wonderful dreams, he finds himself living in a penguin colony, swimming, diving, jumping, and enjoying the company of the other penguins. While other children ask their parents for puppies... mine asks if he can keep a penguin in his bathtub.

Because of this, there are many times that I feel as if my son is really Mr. Popper from Mr. Popper's Penguins. As I begin to explore the idea of cultivating a culture of learning in my home, that draws us closer together, and instills a love of literature in our children... I have decided to begin reading longer chapter books aloud to all three of our kids. Although we read shorter story books before bed at night, this will take place during the day, and will focus on listening and comprehension.

After some thought... I realized the natural chapter book to begin reading with the kids was Mr. Popper's Penguins because it has short enough chapters, very descriptive language, and it would appeal to all three of the kids. I ordered a used copy of the book off Amazon this week and we've started our daily reading sessions and so far the kids LOVE it. It will be tough to follow up Mr. Popper's Penguins but I know we will find something the kids will love. If anyone has any suggestions for great read alouds feel free to post a comment!

Happy Fathers Day to my Husband!

When Derrick and I were married in July of 2005, I did not know what our future held, but I trusted that God knew and that was enough. Even in my wildest dreams, I did not dream that almost 7 years later we would have three amazing children that God had blessed us with. Despite that fact, part of the reason I married him was that I knew he would make an amazing father.

He had more patience than any one I knew... enough patience in fact, that he was able to teach me to drive a 5 speed. Patience that lasted through my stall outs, my burn outs, and my whining and complaining. You see... I'm a perfectionist and I hate not being good at something... and it showed! Derrick successfully taught me to drive a 5 speed in two days, and we laughed, we cried, and he never lost his patience. It was then I knew that he was the man God had planned for me, and I knew that I had so much to learn from him.

Fast forward 7 years to June 2012, and he is still the kindest and most patient man I know. These qualities make him an amazing father to our three beautiful children... along with his calm spirit, his sense of humor, and his desire for our children to learn from every day circumstances. I thank God for blessing me with such an amazing husband, who is a fantastic father to our kids. Happy Fathers Day, Derrick Hogan! I love you!

 On our wedding day in July 2005

 Walking at the park on Fathers Day Weekend!

Awesome Daddy!

 Three amazing kiddos!

Overlook Adventures!